Roman Lacey | Small Curiosity Artist

What was your favourite clown performance you’ve seen?

“It’s hard to choose a favourite clown performer or favourite clown performance because “Clowning” is a big spectrum.

That being said, one performance in particular stands out in my brain; there was a Fringe show in London, ON, back in 2012, where an ex-Cirque De Solei performer did a one-person show with almost zero words, they moved in such strange ways, and their show seemed to be about an alien-clown discovering the joys of simple, everyday objects like a tv and a plant.

I remember being confused but intrigued by this odd character, I was hooked on their every gesture, every breath, they pulled me into the moment with them as they worked. I walked away from that show with more questions than answers – it was absolutely magnificent.

The performer’s ability to remain so present, so in the moment, was unlike any performer I had seen before. It didn’t matter how insignificant their actions or motives seemed, I was drawn into every moment.

I had learned about clowning in school, but to see this absolute Clowning-Master, doing what they do best – THAT is what really pulled me into the world of clowning.”

What motivates you to create?

“It’s so cliche, but I create because I have no other choice. Creating Art, whether a performance, a character, or a visual piece of art – creating is the thing I must do to find meaning, purpose, and stability in my life.

As someone who is Autistic, Trans, Queer, and struggles with some pretty bad anxiety & depression, (I know, pick a struggle right?) I create as a way to make sense of the chaos around me, I create to map a clear path forward for myself, and I create because I know it will lead to something fun and silly. 

That being said, I am deeply insecure about my creativity and find myself constantly comparing my work to “someone better”.  I am working on this silly-thinking by forcing myself to create something everyday, even if I don’t feel like it, even when I am feeling insecure. 

I believe creativity is a practiced skill, no different from learning to read or learning your multiplication tables.

For those folks who don’t believe they are Artists themselves, I encourage you to practice being creative anyway. Practice for yourself, for your mental health, and to better your own life. I believe everyone is an Artist, but not everyone gets to meet that part of themselves.”

Has your style changed over time?

“Oh definitely! My “style” is constantly evolving – morphing as my life, my creativity, and my experiences evolve. Honestly, I have no intention of trying to master one form or style of artistic practice, my goal is to explore Art in as many avenues as possible – anything that makes me go “Wow! I want to try that!”

This is also why I spend my free time learning about and surrounding myself with different Art styles, disciplines, cultures, and histories.

Life is too precious and too short to take it so seriously. I’ve done the 9-5 thing, it’s overrated. Now I create to live and FEEL alive.”

How do you feel creative when you’re feeling stuck?

“Practice, practice, and did I mention, practice? 

I force myself to “create-a-thing” daily. I usually start my morning by doodling on my laptop and drinking a coffee (some people journal, but I find words too hard first thing in the morning).

I find forcing myself to create something takes away a bit of that fear of, “what if what I make is crap?”. It’s like exercising unfortunately – the more you do it, the easier it becomes. 

Don’t get me wrong, I still make a lot of “crap”, but sometimes, something fun and exciting emerges. Those moments fill my soul with joy and purpose.”

What do you hope to accomplish with your art?

“My goal is to simply explore Art, to immerse myself in as much art as possible, and as often as possible. If I could spend most of my days creating, learning, and hanging out with other Artists, I will have accomplished my goals. 

My goal with the “Big Cow Trans Boy” character is to be silly, unhinged, and very stupid. I hope folks enjoy my video, but if they don’t, that’s okay too because I didn’t make this for someone else, I made this for me. 

(But I still desperately hope people like my art and have fun watching it. I’m only human – allegedly) :D”